With many seniors scrambling to make the grades to graduate (you know who you are dudes, I am not going to name names George Craft), the Minks collaborated with the Law school to field one of the strongest W&L side earth had ever seen.

It was reported that the cadets were absolutely horrified when they saw the Minks’ sudden surge in size increase. In fact, they tried to get us disqualified for using steroids.

What they failed to understand and we forgave them because they were vmies, was that if Barry Bonds could use steroids and claimed that he did not know, we could do the same.

In the first half W&L was only down by two tries due to the forwards’ superb tackling and rucking.  The Law players showed why they were grown men by leading the charge blasting the cadets off the line of scrimmage.

8^th Man Tino Tovo led by example and made some impressive runs. W&L would have been able to control the flow if the forwards could help get the ball out instead of over-committing.

The backline was able to withstand VMI’s kicking game early on as ‘Wolfman’ Matt Kaufmann continued to play tough and catch the ball like no one’s business.   

Ian Handerhan elevated his kicking game, not to mention his big mouth (I thought pledgeship would at least humbled you a bit little Ian), and in doing so managed to protect the backline and keep the Generals in the game.    

W&L showed signs of hope as it was able to stop VMI from scoring twice on the goal line.  Yet, numerous petty penalties and the cadets’ excellent kicking game took the life out of the young Minks. As the game continued to slip away more first year players came in to spell the senior players.

Our freshmen players continued to impress with fine athleticism.  Kirk Adamson, Robert Wilson filled in nicely in the back keeping sissies like Club President Rory Dowling from playing. 

Chris Dadak, Mark Howell and the like also displayed some toughness going at the bigger cadets fearlessly.

In the end VMI came away with a big win against the inexperienced and rusty W&L squad.

After five operations on his shoulder, Rory Dowling refused to play and decided to call the shots on the sidelines. What he could not control is that there is an honour violation trial awaiting him for lying about the extent of his injury (come on he went to Westminster how can you buy his ‘story’?)

On the note of injuries, there’s a little side episode involving the Van Diesel of W&L – Moses Laffitte. When asked why the recently concussed Moses refused to wear my helmet, the lovely Ms. Balentine conceded that Moses was really hurting, yet he felt like a weakling wearing any pads.  In fact, Ms. Balentine said ‘Tuck Tuck’ went ballistic when she asked him about his injuries.  Its okay to be a tough guy hurting Moses, we forgive you. 

Last but not least, coach Thomas Lovell somehow manages to make it to the back of everyone’s head from time to time.  In his absence I had this epiphany that solved one of the biggest dilemmas of the century: why is coach always so pissy, whiney, sexually frustrated and sensitive to his age?  To illustrate my theory, I decide to ‘invoke’ some lyrics from the 70s rock legend Pink Floyd (‘Happiest Days of Our Lives’):

‘When (he) got home at night, (his) fat and

Psychopathic wife would thrash (him)

Within inches of (his) life.

Woooooohoooooo Wooooohoooooo Ahhhhhhh’

Sorry coach, when domestic abuse creeps up on you, it is devastating.  By understanding your misery, it helps us get through the pains of enduring through your spurts of emotional breakdown eh.

That’s right, don’t you ever make fun of Canada again.  We own you. Literally, figuratively and colloquially. In every sense of the word.

Arthur ‘Fanger Banger’ Fang